W3D1 Tomorrow - -No April Fools & The Battle of Argine Kearney

Tomorrow is an awesome day.  I will nearly be complete of 1/3 of my first running program.  Taking a mental inventory it seems as if everything is up to the task - -knees: check, ankles: check, mental state - check.  I find myself anxious - not in a nervous sort of way; but just antsy - ready to get it on. 

Today was the type of day that forced you outside.  It was beautiful - -70 degrees - -a slight breeze - deep blue sky.  The perfect day to chuck mulch and chuck mulch we did.  My co-pilot, Jackson was by my side the entire time and we got our "mulch on".

Of course, before our "mulch adventure" Jackson had to "Carb-up" and nothing says "I'm just like Daddy" more than a chocolate doughnut.  The construction paper hat was just an accessory (FABULOUSSSS!!)  he came up with on the fly. 


Jackson is great company but is easily DISTRACTED:

Leaf Raking

Snow Shoveling

Posing for Pictures

and more pictures . . . .

But my little buddy came through for me today.  Two trips to the mulch place and all the shoveling & raking I could ask for.   He was a real trooper.  Jackson invested some real sweat equity into this project - - he attacked the mulch pile with a ferocity seldom seen in a 4 year old (other than at a Wiggles concert)

All was good - - like his coal mining forefathers he knew the value of a hard day's work and began to feel as if this debris . . . this mulch  . . . .was his . . . was part of him . . .

Jackson's face was etched, well - more SMEARED, as a by-product of his labor

He was - - KING OF THE PILE  - - - -

And then "SHE" showed up - -cresting the hill in full glory, a veritable Hun at the gate - - and she was feeling "bloody" today

Initially, they tried diplomacy and pursuing a common goal

But eventually, the "honeymoon" ended and negotiations stalled

And as often, too often, happens -  civility ended and hotter heads prevailed

For a moment, there was a pause, still a tinge of hope for peace in the air - opposing parties taking a moment of introspection

But it was not to be - -the horror of war was all too real this day

The chaos of the clash was excrutiating - -seasoned warriors in the pitch of mortal combat

Blow after blow rained down on Jackson; in desperation he cried towards the heavens for strength

Suddenly, as if by a miracle, the Horde was vanquished

The sole gladiator, the Defender, was again KING

After such an emotionally wrought & tense battle, the defeated hell-cat of a  foe, visibly injured, retreated as the beaten often do . . . . .

Into the arms of Mommy

Sleep the sleep of the Warrior, my son, sleep the sleep of the Victorious

I love you, little buddy . . . .

My Wife's Weight Loss Story

This is my wife Summer.  She is working along with me in my quest to be a skinnier Fatso.  She doesn't blog . . .I'm the veteran blogger of the family (3 days counting today).  I'm proud of her.  She's blessed us with beautiful children; she has completely revamped her southern/kentucky bluegrass way of cooking so that she now provides us with new, delicious and incredibly healthy meals.  She provides me with inspiration and motivation every day . . .. and she is incredibly demure, humble, and modest.  So I know there is no way that she would ever get on and "Toot her Own Horn" about her weight and her weight loss.  So it seems only logical to me that she would inwardly be thrilled if I were to post her success here.  Summer has never been overweight - -not even appeared to look the slighest bit plump - -but a woman's sense of self is quite different than that of a man.  It only took 6 episodes of Oprah, reading a Woman's World magazine once when I was on the can at the Valvoline Express Oil Change, and years of wedded bliss to my bethrothed for me to realize that. 

Summers victory includes a starting weight of <. REDACTED . > on Jan. 1st.  This was up by <. REDACTED. > pounds from when she graduated high school. She is now a svelte and sexy <. REDACTED.>  pounds.  At our wedding she wore a size  <.REDACTED .> dress and . . . .what the ??  Summer weighs <. REDACTED . >, Summer weighs <.REDACTED.> ,  Summer wears a size <.REDACTED . > . . .are you  <.REDACTED.> kidding me?  A  <.REDACTED .>  MACRO???  Thats what I get for marrying a former IBM'er........Summer also likes to <. REDACTED. > and every time she eats <. REDACTED.> she  <. REDACTED. > like a <.REDACTED. > race horse.  Moreover, one time we <.REDACTED.> till the  <.REDACTED. > cows came home . . . . .son of a <. REDACTED.>.   How the <.REDACTED. > did she do that?  Told you she was amazing . . . .

C25K - Week 2 Day 3 - -Count it, Baby!

Lexington, KY - 10:30 a.m.:  There are moments in history that are forever etched into our collective souls:  the Marines raising the flag at Iwo Jima ;  The Berlin Wall coming down in Germany; the

pride displayed in Tiananmen Square.  These are all significant milestones that immediately conjure specific images of amazing accomplishments.  On that March day in 1945, amidst the horror of the battlefield, one soul took pause to memoralize, even in grainy black & white, "Old Glory" being raised by our boys.  Inspiration comes to mind when we recall the image of one lone protester standing in defiance against the iron behomeths at Tiananmen in the quest for freedom.  Captured forever is the joy when the Berlin Wall finally fell.  This photographic chronology serves as one of the many threads that bind us together within the human condition.  So it is with great honor that I am blessed to add to the historical perspective.  Today I completed Week 2 Day 3 of the "Couch to 5K" running program (C25K)

It proved to be an excellent week of running.  While the weather was a bit on the cool side - averaging in the low to mid 40's, often overcast, with sporadic episodes of rain; this morning dawned clear and crisp.  Fresh AAA batteries were nestled within my MP3, chomping restlessly at the proverbial bit - -they wanted to do their job.  Lacing up my shoes, I believe I can say that I have experienced the same feeling that Michael Jordan had before a crucial game 7, or that Tiger Woods must have felt, having $4000 burning a hole in his pocket and seeing a pair of 38D silicone freezer bags attached to a pole clutching "student working her way through college."   "Before me is a Summit I must conquer" . . . 

This week went great!  The tweeks and pangs from Week 1 were but a memory.  And I loved the fact that I was down to 6 intervals - -true, each interval is longer, but still . . . .even moreso . . something changed for me - -mentally and physically.  No longer was I running to lose weight - - it became a by-product.  Running has become a pursuit.  I want to run more so I can run longer . . and faster.  Years of being a "walker" washed away as I jetted by mothers with strollers, house fraus in their Day Glo spandex . . .I left them in my wake . . or at least as large of a  metaphorical wake that a 264 lb Shrek-like oaf can generate at a whopping 6 mph.  My knees feel great,  I have no soreness . . . . I run with pride . . .and just a slight bit of chaffing that I am attending to but lets not take away from the moment.

I run in a small neighborhood park close to the house here.  The park is a typical neighborhood park - -approximately 7 to 10 acres, meandering aphalt walking paths, a tennis court, monkey bars etc . . . this is my battleground . . .and when the Visigoth warriors that are Self Doubt, a Warm Bed, and a surprising delightful Spinach/Egg Quiche attempt to confine me behind the walls of my self-imposed gelatinous flabby prison - -here, here . . .is where I lay them to waste . . . .I COMPLETED WEEK 2 DAY 3 . . . .and as is with all momentous and historical occasions, I saw fit that it forever be captured to serve as motivation for generations to come. . . .

"Juoksen siis olen"

"Curso ergo sum"

"Devo farce per eseguire pertanto ho"

"Corro, luego existon"

"Ja trcanje zato sam"

"Se poutet sa mwen Kouri Mwen"

"I run, therefore I am"

" . . . . . . I AM . . . . . . . "

                         

C25K - My Weapons of Choice

My most recent love are my new Reebok Zigtechs.  I know they are something else to look at; however they have proven to be a dream when it comes to shock absorption and down force dispersion.  Somehow those funny little soles provide an extra "Ummmph" and seem to use the energy to propel you to your next step.  Due to the type of material the sole is comprised of, these should only be used on "clean" running surfaces - track, blacktop, treadmill, artificial turf even - -you don't want to use these where you will be coming into contact with any type of small, sharp edged debris (sticks, small stones, etc...)  If you are currently a bit larger and are finding the weight of your body coming down on your legs to be a challenge - -these could do the trick.  I started with nearly 310 lbs on some 42 year old football knees - - these have helped tremendously.  At first I thought the weight of the shoe would be more than my Asics or Nikes, but they are not.  A good firm lightweight shoe.  Can not comment on the durability as they are still a relatively new shoe.

Prior to my Reebok Zigtechs, I alternated between two snazzy and equally effective foot encompassers - - Asics Gel 1120's and a Sweet pair of Nike Zoom Airs.  Both shoes perform very well  and got me through many a cold and rainy night of walking, walking, walking until I got to a point where I was comfortable beginning the C25K

The Nikes proved to be incredible popular on and around St. Patricks Day, so that was a plus.  Additionally, every now and again, riders in passing cars instead of tossing beer cans and batteries would first yell, "GO DUCKS!!!", then toss the beer cans and batteries (evidently an homage to the Oregon Ducks which I hear have a fabulous sense of fashion when it comes to their school uniforms and colors).  The Nikes have always been a conversation piece - - I can be assured that at least one person will comment on them should I have to run into the grocery or stop at a Quik-E-Mart.  Both are still seeing limited service on my off day walking routines and sometimes I'll wear nothing but them and a pair of dress socks to bed.  Evidently I already provide enough humor in the bedroom, because my wife, Summer, incredibly unimpressed  always tells me to "Lose the Shoes . . ."

Last, but certainly not least, are my New Balance 642's with the "Shock Absorbz" sole.  I love this shoe and have loved these shoes from the first day I bought my first pair.  They are excellent for anything from just banging around in, to extended hiking, and can even - -in a pinch - -work well for a quick 30 minute walkish jog if you need to knock out a little cardio before getting wherever it is you should have been 30 minutes prior.

This is actually my second pair of these "NB's".  They are great shoes and are kind of like Birkenstocks - -the older they get, the better they feel and you can find specific tasks for even a beat up pair.  My first pair are called into duty any time we are chilling around the fire pit, there is a need for an emergency gutter cleaning, and . . .and. . . can be incredibly accurate when thrown at a random neighborhood dog taking a morning constitutional on the front lawn. . ("You hairy bastard!!)

 Every now and again, my 3 year old daughter Kyra, who possesses not only a keen fashion eye but an incredible sense of humor enjoys "clopping" around in them singing snippets of Dora the Explorer and Yo Gabba Gabba Songs

Watch . . . .Kyra?

"Yes, Da-Da"

Me:  "You want Daddy to make a Funny?"

"Yes, Da-Da"

Me:  "Pull My Finger . . . . ."

(Kyra pulls my finger with breathless anticipation yet secure in the knowledge of what is to follow)

Me (technically):   "PFFFFFFTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!"

"HA! HA! HA! . . . Daddy your sense of timing and humor is sublime!!!!!"

Nuff said . . . . .

Inspirational to say the least . . . . .and NO!! it is not me . . . .

I came across this jewel months ago, and have revisited time and time again . . .at first it was sort of that watching a slow motion car crash while it was happening, but I have actually reflected on it and to some degree I actually dig this dude . . I think it speaks volumes to his attitude and self confidence . . .plus now when I laugh my ass off it is tinged with respect . . . . .You GO BOY!!!!

Versions of Me

Why not?  Here it goes.  This picture was taken with my wife Summer, about 5 years ago.  If I was to "guesstimate" I would say I am somewhere between 245lb and 265lbs - -probably closer to the 245lb.  I've always liked this picture - -it does me good.  I think it is because everytime I see it I still think to myself, "Who's the hot chick" . .Good for my self esteem.  Plus I look kinda cool with the juxtaposition of the scholarly glasses and the tattooed arms. . .yeah right . . .thank goodness my wife can see the inside . . and didn't mind that all of our children have my cinderblock/Charlie Brown type head . . OUCH!!!

That is me with the microphone.  I am so fat in this picture, believe it or not, that is my shadow seated at the drums.  We were a pretty successful trio on the polka/gangster rap circuit and were signed to a gig on the Arsenio Hall Show; until an evening that I would like to forget and in a fit of binging, I consumed both of my bandmates - - 280 to 290 lbs

This is my mother and grandfather along with a small child they were trying to convince me not to wrap in a oversized tortilla, sprinkle with a fresh garden salsa and consume - - I had just found out we were out of Brats and Kraut. 300 plus pounds

Yikes!  Look at that - -I look like Arnold when he did that pregnant man movie.  This was taken last Fall - -I'm comfortable with the 280-290lb range in this one.  Thats Kyra, our 3 year old.  She has developed an affinity for me nailing her with the blower blast . . .I know, I know . . .things come out at a gazillion miles an hour, thats how accidents happen, yadda yadda . .no worries, I've told her to keep her eyes closed.

Thanksgiving 2009 - - -easily 310 lbs.  That is our eleven year old, Elliot to my left.  I am explaining to him that we can't hold any ill feelings towards the Greenpeace activists that had just left; although they had spent the last hour trying to roll me back into the bathtub so I could head for open water.  Note how I cleverly disguised myself as a 1986 Prom Picture Photo Background.

NOW --- FOR MY FIRST BIG UNVEIL - - - "Ladies & Gentleman. . . .12 weeks into a New Years Resolution . . . . . over 250 miles logged on failing knees . . .the world's most recent lover of Hummus & Wheat Pitas . . . . . with a current weight loss of  44 lbs and still going strong . .complete props to Spark People and C25K . . . . . .a skinnier Fatso . . . .. . .me this evening in the kitchen

Okay . . so it isn't quite as dramatic as the Biggest Loser - -but it is 44lbs-- and I'm lovin it!  So of course, much to the chagrin of my wife, I got carried away

Here I am being contemplative;

Suave

I call this "The Jolly Green Giant" but personally I think the effect is much better when I am wearing my spandex biker shorts and a wife beater . . . .speaking of wife, she threatened to quit playing if I changed into the outfit so you get the boring version.

 

But alas, there was a tinge of reality to the situation - - as it has oft been said, "You can't go home again...." and I believe this applies to your high school wardrobe as well

But you can have fun with it

Look at the Guns!!  Fire-Powah!! Boom! Boom!  Pay no attention to the fact that I am attempting to smuggle 28 pounds of bread dough and the half metamorphised body of Voldemort under my shirt . . .Geesh-O-Pete - - it looks as if someone shaved down a gorilla's behind  and he is copping a squat over the front of my belt......

Needless to say some of the kids enjoyed my show

While others may never recover -

Sorry Son . . . .

and daughter . . . . . it wasn't that bad was it????

Justin?  Justin? What are you doing?

Put away the gun - - Dad will never wear the Mario shirt again . . .. . (this week . . . .sshhhhhh . . .I think the Missus kind of liked it - - I got either a "Come hither" look or  the pangs of nauseau from her.  I'll put it on tonight and let you know whether she barfs.)

Chicken Kingdom and my Old Man . . . . . . . .

Yep,  getting my blog on.  I am a blogginite.  What now? Attempt a new picture insert based on some helpful hints. 

This is cool.  I like this Advanced Editor whosey-whatsit for pictures.  For the first few weeks efforts may be limited to nothing more than fiddling with photos and trying to come up with witty captions.  To the left is my 4 year old son, Jackson.  This was in November of 2009 back in West Virginia at my father's house.  My father has the incredible ability to find no time whatsoever to just slow down.  Despite not needing to, he still works a full time job and puts an additional 40 plus hours in on his newest creation - - Chicken Kingdom.  Chicken Kingdom is an approximate 1/2 plot that was once his backyard, but has since turned into a veritable wealth of chicken suburbia and poultry expansion - inhabited by numerous hens, roosters and a few rogue ducks - - - I know, I know . . .the ducks seem to find a more accepting attitude of their lifestyle in Chicken Kingdom.  Kind of like a Feathered San Francisco - - -"Feathered San Francisco??"  A bit redundant,  but hey . . its my blog.

The tastefully stylish gentleman in the ORANGE camouflage is my father, THE KING - completing the ensemble with his pajama pants and Crocs.  He thinks he is "getting over" every time he buys from Goodwill.  The minion being put to task is 11 year old Elliot, my son.  Elliot did not seem to find the endearing quaintness to the whole situation and hid for the bulk of the remainder of the weekend.  Chicken Kingdom evidently has bitten the "Immigration Issue" right in the bud.  To the right of my father are two ducks that had wandered up from the south, (Georgia, possibly) seeking asylum.  The governing immigration body C.L.U.C.K. (Can't Let Uther Chickens Knest . . .I know, I know . .phonetics . .they are chickens for Pete's sake . . .linguistics are not their strongpoint) were not impressed by their tale of fording the Tennessee River, unswayed by stories of down pillows . .however the chickens did give pause at the tale of a "Turdurcken" . . .interrupting the description of a duck, inside a chicken, inside a turkey with the comment "We're not into that here . . .marriage is between a hen and a rooster. . . usually . . .but hey, you are ducks"

Fortunately, in a twist of West Virginia Irony, my father decided to give aid to the wayward ducks and provided them with a much appreciated meal . . OF CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP . . .well played Dad . . .well played.....