Moment of Self Indulgence

For any of you that are struggling with this fitness thing like I am; it is important to pay close attention to the milestones; and some of them are not as readily apparent as others.  Reading through some of my earlier posts, I came across the Versions of Me post.  Glancing through it, I realized that most of the photos that I was in were either taken without me knowing, or I obviously was avoiding contact with the camera - - big burly guy like me - - and I ached with self-consciousness . . . . now look at me - posing for pictures - -IN SPANDEX . . . without even realizing it I have become comfortable with myself.  I'm not saying that you have to lose weight or be skinny in order to be self-accepting - -my point is, for me, and my perception of my self - -that I had not realized how "down" on myself I had become; and that the effort required to get "in shape" and lose weight; be diligent with my diet . . . .that has given me a sense of pride I have never had before . . and I still have a long way to go . . . it is important that you acknowledge yourself; pat yourself on the back . .but most importantly - -be patient and understanding with yourself.  For the fun of it, Elliot and I decided to "reenact" a photo taken of the two of us at Thanksgiving 2009.  Once again, I was avoiding the camera - - - my weight was well over 300lbs.  The new photo - taken this morning - - my weight is . .you know what . . it doesn't matter . . . . look at me . . . . . . I'm smiling.