Talk about timing: here in two weeks I will be travelling to Sarasota, FL for a week for an insurance conference. Looking through my schedule the anvil dropped on my head - -I will be completing Week 6 of C25K in Floriday. Weather Underground readily provided me the average temperature for that time of year in Florida, so I should be enjoying those extended runs somewhere in the neighborhood of 68 to 87 degrees (avg low to avg high) along with a blazing sun . . . .so anyone that may be on my Emergency Contact List - -please try to stay off the phone during this time period.
Dave, aka Man_Boobs_in_VA, (not as much now he assures me) and I will be running our first "official" 5K on June 12th. Dave will be flying here to Kentucky from Virginia and compete we shall in the Possum Ridge 5K. Affirming a point that most women, especially married woman, hold - - men (particularly husbands) never completely grow up. Dave and I, in a sign of solidarity, have decided to forego all shaving activity until after the race. At this point in our follicle pact, this doesn't seem to be much of a stretch for Dave, as he seems to be well on his way to Grizzly Adams. I, on the other hand, while having sported a goatee for years - have recently been going with the clean shaven look (much to Summer's chagrin - -I think it is because with my goattee, she can rationalize that I have an edge - -clean shaven: baby-butt smooth with a disturbing resemblence to Michael Moore and Drew Carey's love child - as I have referenced before) Plus, with all of the weight it looks as if I am wearing a Santa's beard made of Silly-Putty under my first chin . . .
Nevertheless - here are my first pictures in my progression to race day
Nothing amazing - -the sideburns and goattee area actually have a days head start on the rest of the mess. What these photos could serve as are Public Service Announcements for staying fit - - geesh, look at that chin. Nature plays a cruel joke on us when losing weight - -even when you lose gobs of it - -it is usually everywhere but where you want the most immediate results - - chin, no way . . .legs . . .especially lower leg area - -of course . . .gut and butt? Nope - -we'll hit you in around the chest and shoulders ( this includes both man and women boobs . .see the cruel irony, ladies?) So what we look like are Hangman figures when playing against a really dim bulb . . .think about it for a second . .ok . .maybe a bit vague . . .you have to add body parts when playing with the stick man - -circle for the butt, big round head . . .. . forget it . . . .at least for me, It appears as if I am a modern art sculpture - -something along the lines of an exercise ball balancung on two broomsticks connected to a bowling ball made of risen bread dough - -connected by a fire starter log - -with two tattooed mannequin arms . . . not to mention the general difficulty of getting a halfway decent picture of yourself taken by yourself . . . .one of my top pet peeves are those "Cutesy" couple photos slathered all over Facebook, taken by one or the other of these two folks, arms extended, leering way too close into the camera - -totally thrilled that it is "Me and My Baby" . . .and puke if the follow up photo is one or both of them kissing; inevitably one will be looking out of the corner of their eye to see if the camera is at least pointed in the general direction and that they are going to be fast enough to take the picture; but close that beady eye before the shutter snaps. Usually the photo reminds me of two pale horrid Jack-o-Lanterns, with too much flash . . uuughhhhhh . . .
Keeping that in mind - -and continuing in my self-deprecating way - -here are my unstaged "other" self-portraits I had to take before my chosen "Bum Face" photos.
This one isn't so bad, I suppose - -the glare of the flash made me appear too pasty - -that and it was the first picture I took and I figured, "Good God, it has got to get better than this . . . "
Oh Geesh . . .this is/was a disaster - -I subconsciously thought . . .no, I purposelly thought that if I tilted my head back a bit it would minimize my little buddy burrowed in there under my first chin . . I didn't achieve that effect - - I'm trying to decide if whether this looks more like a profile photo of someone attempting to look sexy on a gay's only Match.com, or if I now know what pleasure my dentist gets to stare down before I "OPEN WIDE . . . . "
Something about this photo really skeeves me out - - because I think it looks like I have a right Glass-Eye. (my right - your left as viewing). Don't get me wrong, I'm pro glass-eye . . I love Sammy Davis Jr. . . .but something about that right eye . . .I don't even feel connected to it when I look at this photo . . who's freakin eye is that?? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the flesh covered long-toed sloth hanging from my mandible . . . . . .
There you go . . hope all have had a blessed day & that tomorrow is even better - - I still got push-ups, sit-ups & squats to do . . . .
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